Etwas the Elf

Etwas the Elf
Our heroine, photo by Maia Ycot

Monday, November 7, 2011

Etwas and the ladybug

Once upon a time, Etwas the elf was running through the forests of grass, under the canopies of clover and around the stems of tall flowers when a ladybug settled on a potato leaf over the elf's head.

"Hi, Miss Ladybug!" called Etwas.  "What are you up to?"

"I'm a-huntin' aphids," growled the ladybug, the cheerful red shell came apart in the middle and fluttered, exposing the tiny, menacing black wings encased within.  "They're the leaf-eatingest, garden-beatingest, smelly-feetiest, yellow-meatiest, most diabolical little monsters you ever seen and I cain't'nt stands em alive.  Pretty sweet-tasting, though.  Must be the good diet.  Did you know they're vegan?"

"You know," Etwas confirmed, "the other day I was talking to a cherry tomato and she told me thank heaven for you, Miss Ladybug."

The ladybug squeezed out a tear.  "We've always understood each other, the cherry tomato and I.  I-I, well I just really like her."

"That's sweet," said Etwas.

"I mean, I get along with all the fruits, really," explained the ladybug.  "Got nothing against 'em, so long as they stick to their place.  But tomatoes is special. And the aphids what hassle the tomatoes is the aphidiest aphids of them all.  You can't just attack fruit!  They needs cultivtin'! I'm getting hungry just thinking about it"  Again, the bright red casing divided, opened, and an angry little flutter of wings trilled.

"Well, Miss Ladybug, no sense in telling me about it.  Go have some justice."

A third time, the happy fire-truck-colored shell opened and the wings beneath rolled.  This time, they lifted the ladybug who hovered a moment. Before flying off towards the nearest cherry tomato bush in parts unknown, the aphid-hunter called down to the elf, "See you 'round, Etwas.  Nice chat.  If you see an aphid, squish him for me!" and the lady bug disappeared and the Elf skipped away towards the blackberry bush.

And ever since then, Etwas has remembered that the sins of a species are the virtues of a variety.

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