Etwas the Elf

Etwas the Elf
Our heroine, photo by Maia Ycot

Thursday, November 24, 2011

The elf and the reverent rodents

Once upon a time, Etwas the elf was running through the forests of grass and under the canopies of clover and around the stems of tall flowers when she came upon a tiny table made of a flat pebble sitting on four matchsticks sunk firmly in the dirt. Around the table sat a squirrel, a chipmunk, a dormouse and a rat on their hind legs, which is considered exceptionally mannerly in the rodent community. Their eyes were shut and their forepaws cycled under the chins.  Nobody spoke but every whisker twitched.  Beside them, on the ground, there was a scrap of cloth from which delicious aromas rose.

"Howdy, Misters Squirrel, Chipmunk, Dormouse and rat." Etwas greeted the aristocrats once their eyes opened.

"Hello, Ms. Etwas," said the squirrel.

"A goo-goo-guten Tag." stuttered the chipmunk.

"Buenas dias, Mees Elf," saluted the dormouse.

"Bonjour," the rat added with a flourish.

Etwas asked, "what's the occasion?  It's a very nice table."

The rat answered her.  "Wee have an especially fine cuisine we have preparrred.  We have zee meat of a bird who, as fate would 'ave eet, 'as bean roasted! Would you, pearhaps care to join?"

The squirrel added "We also have a potato which had come upon misfortune and was buried in milk, butter and salt."

"Und zis, zis, zis souse off red b-b-bahren vich had popped zehr shkinss in shooga." contributed the chipmunk.

"We gatherr to to conseeder dee misfortunas of dee food and geeve ar tahnks."

"Well," said Etwas, that sounds very nice.  How did the unfortunate food have the great good luck of finding such an elegant table?"

The rat answered for the group.  "Zee purr peopel een zee rotten cabeen wees ze beeg 'oles in zee walls at zee bottom of zee heel, zey nevair 'ave anysing mais yestairday, voila!"

"You stole a poor family's meal?"

"N-n-n-nein," explained the chipmunk, "dey ver prayink.  Vee-vee answeredet."

The rat added quickly, "Eet was proviahnce, zee deevahn, zat provided zair meal to us!"

And ever since then, Etwas keeps faith in providence, and stays vigilant around theologians.

Happy Thanksgiving to everyone, especially the poor and the thievish.


  1. LOL! Well, a prayer that expects where the answer should come from cannot be an honest one. :-P

    Happy Day After Thanksgiving to you too!

  2. A roasted turkey for Thanksgiving, perhaps? Surely there was leftovers with cranberry sauce.