Etwas the Elf

Etwas the Elf
Our heroine, photo by Maia Ycot

Monday, November 28, 2011

The Elves and the Salmon Castle

Once upon a time, Etwas the Elf was running through the forests of grass, under the canopies of clover and around the stems of tall flowers when she came upon her cousin Eamon with his hands under his hat standing over a square patch of bare earth.

"Howdy, Eamon!"

"Hi, Etwas," her cousin sulked back.

"Whatcha doin'?"

Eamon just stared down at the patch of ground he had torn all the grass from and moved all the rocks out of.  "Bewding a castew."

"Want some help?"

"Yes, pweese."

"OK, I can gather up some sticks for the walls."

Eamon frowned.  "Naw," he said, "wood sometimes catches on fioo."

"Do you want me to gather some stones?  We can build rock walls."

Eamon frowned again and furrowed his brow.  "Naw," he said, "Dey might tumbew ovah and faw on my head."

Etwas thought a minute and then her face brightened.  "Come here," she said, "I want to show you something."

So the two elves went down to the river and Etwas took out her little knife and cut some cotton weeds.  She pulled the fibers apart and then braided them together into a rope.  Then a salmon jumped out of the river and Etwas threw the rope into the salmon's mouth.  "Grab on!" she cried and soon Etwas and Eamon were flying through the water on the salmon's back.

The salmon swished its tail and splashed water past Eamon's ear.  Then it dove over the side of a waterfall.  "Woooooowwwwiiiiiiieeeeeeeee!" the two elves shouted. The salmon dove to the bottom and then jumped the surface of the river, flipped in midair and came down with a crash.  It raced towards the bank and turned sharply around.  This time, the two elves lost their footing and flew through the air.  The pair landed in a sloshing tumble onto the moss and lay there, bruised and laughing until their sides ached.

"You see, Eamon," his cousin explained, "we really need a fortress that'll move with us."

And ever since then, Eamon has been open to alternative systems of architecture.


  1. Paul falls from his horse and lands flat on his unpleasant face. With a sneering chuckle, he brushes himself off and jumps back in the saddle.

    He says to his horse, "If'n I'd landed on that there cactus; I'd still be a rollin' around screamin' like a stuck pig!"