Etwas the Elf

Etwas the Elf
Our heroine, photo by Maia Ycot

Monday, October 24, 2011

The Elves at The Picnic

Once upon a time, Etwas the Elf was running through the forests of green grass, under the canopies of clover and around the stems of tall grass when she saw her cousin, Eamon the Elf, trying to tip over a styrofoam cup.

"Hi, Eamon!" Etwas called cheerfully.

"Hi, Etwas!" Eamon answered.  "I'm twying to tip ovah this cup!  Will you help me?"

So the two pressed their backs against the side of the cup and both strained against but it was too heavy.  Then Eamon suggested they take a running start and they both took ten giant steps up an anthill before careening down and throwing themselves spearlike into the side of the cup.  The cup didn't move and the cousins found themselves ajumble on the ground with tiny flecks of white foam in their crushed green hats.

Then Etwas had another idea.

"What's a wevah?" Eamon asked.

Soon, the two were down at the edge of the pond, chopping down a reed with their little knives.  When they finally had the reed down, they started rolling it back uphill toward the cup.  After a while, the reed seemed to Etwas to get heavier.  Panting she asked, "Eamon, does this reed seem to be getting awfully heavy?"

"Not weally." said Eamon, poking his head out the reed.

Finally the two were back at the cup with their lever.  Etwas and Eamon dug a little hole under the edge of the cup for the tip of the reed.  "Now we just need a fulcrum," Etwas audibly considered.  "Eamon, lie down in front of the cup."

Eamon lay down and Etwas, with a mighty heave, lifted the reed over her cousin's back and into the hole.  She jumped on top and walked out to the high end where she bounced up and down until, finally, the cup started to move, tipped and fell over.  A cascade of golden fluid and several cubes of ice tumbled out of the cup onto the ground.

The two swam around in the sour golden sea and pushed the ice cubes up the anthill and sledded.

"Wook at me!" Eamon giggled.  "I"m a clown!"  Eamon had found red lipstick on the rim of the cup and wiped it all over his own face.  Just then, two enormous lips the exact color of Eamon's clownface appeared in the sky and made a big "O."  Eamon and Etwas laughed again.

Then, from another direction, a low and rasping thunder sent ripples across the puddle of gold "Emma Lynn!  Did you spill your mother's juice again?"

The pair of elves laughed so hard that orange juice came out of both their noses.  Then they ran away for safety's sake.

And ever since then, humans should always dispose of their picnic supplies in the appropriate bin if they don't want to be mocked by elves.