Etwas the Elf

Etwas the Elf
Our heroine, photo by Maia Ycot

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

The elf, the troll and the three billy goats gruff

Once upon a time, Etwas the Elf running through the forests of grass, under the canopies of clover and around the stems of tall flowers when she came to the edge of a creaky wooden bridge spanning Þjórsá River.  She thought maybe she'd dive into the rapids and yank a fish's tail when suddenly, the sound of hooves brought her attention from the raging stream to three billy goats approaching the bridge.

First came Grétar the goat to the edge of the bridge.  Just as he started across a deep voice from below the bridge boomed "Grétar, Grétar, Grétar the goat! I'll gobble your hooves and chew on your throat!"

Etwas thought about all the fat salmon swimming back and forth past the troll's foot with no beards and no hooves and considered that he might not be dedicating a full intelligence to the problem.

"Don't eat me!" said Grétar the goat, "I'm bony and hungry and mostly just coat!"

The troll let Grétar pass to fatten up in the fields across the river because he heard the next billy goat, Smári coming and Smári was bigger.  Just as Smári the goat set foot on the bridge, the deep voice boomed again.  "Smári, Smári, Smári the goat! I'll gobble your beard right down to your throat."

"Don't eat me! Don't eat me! Don't make me your meal.  I'll be tender and fat once I've cleared yonder field."  So the troll let Smári the goat go by, sensing an investment opportunity.  Besides, he could already hear the heavier hoofbeats of Ómar the biggest billy goat on the river.

"Ómar, Ómar, Ómar, eldest of three! I'll dine on your flesh and put your beard in my tea!" called the troll.

"Nasty troll," cried Ómar, "My hooves hurt from walking and my cell phone is gone, I'm in a very bad mood, so, fine, bring it on!" and he lowered his horns and dashed around under the bridge.

"Zoiks!" the troll yelled at a yank on his tail.  Caught by surprise, he leapt into the air, slipped on a rock and tumbled over the waterfall as Etwas, holding onto the top of his pants yelled "Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! Splash!"

And ever since then, Etwas the Elf gives a nice jerk on the backside for conflict resolution and mediation and whitewater rafting.


  1. that was fun for all of us here in the countryside!!!!

  2. Zoiks! Etwas went whitewater rafting on the backside of a troll ...