Etwas the Elf

Etwas the Elf
Our heroine, photo by Maia Ycot

Friday, December 2, 2011

Etwas the Elf and the priest of Odda

Once upon a time, Etwas the Elf was running through the forests of grass, under the canopies of clover and around the stems of tall flowers when she found herself in Odda.  A tall, red spire rose above the low hills and Etwas decided to explore the caves nearby.

In one of the caves, she found a gnome pacing back and forth in the darkness.  It was hard to see, but the gnome seemed to be wearing a bishop's mitre, priestly vestments and a large rood around his neck.  "Come on, Dark one.  I can take you!" the gnome was muttering.  A halberd rested on one arm.

Etwas greeted the gnome.  "Howdy, Mr. Gnome!"

The gnome turned and rushed at her, raising the pole-ax.  Etwas darted between the gnomes feet and yanked his tail.

"Oh!" the gnome declared in a gruff voice.  "I thought you were a demon."

"I get that sometimes," Etwas admitted.  "What are you doing in this cave?"

"Stamping out paganism."

"Just in this cave?"

"For now."

"Are you sure that's a good idea?"

"We can only do as we're called to do.  As for me and this here cave, we will serve the LORD."

"That's nice.  So what if a pagan came in here to get out of the rain?"

"I'd stomp them! I'd punch them! I'd chop them into pagan croquets with my halberd. I'm outstamping pagans in this cave and, one day, beyond.  Wait!  I hear one now."  In fact, a bat was pinging the walls as it left its nest.  The gnome chased the bat around for a while, bashing the walls with the blade as he stumbled and scrambled and fumbled.

"Ok," the little elf allowed, "I don't want to interfere with Heaven's work so I'll just see myself out.  Careful the stone doesn't dull your blade."

"See you, Etwas," the gnome barked over his shoulder.  "And don't worry about me.  The LORD has a sharp blade waiting for me in the hereafter!"

Etwas went back to her outdoor play.

Ever since then, elves and gnomes give no comfort to the heathen.

1 comment:

  1. The priest of Odda is STILL in this cave chasing wayward bats with a dull blade!