Etwas the Elf

Etwas the Elf
Our heroine, photo by Maia Ycot

Friday, December 9, 2011

The Elves at Stonehenge

Once upon a time, Etwas the Elf was running through the forests of grass, under the canopies of clover and around the stems of tall flowers when she realized it was time to leave for her appointment.  She turned to the north and followed the natural lines of spiritual force to the mountain where her promise awaited.

She climbed up a tree whose top swayed near the cliffside.  She let the breeze carry her back and forth until she was close to the shear face and when the tip was nearest the side, leapt and took hold of an exposed root.  She leapt and grabbed the root.

One hand over the other, she shimmied up the exposed root until she reached a tiny cleft in the side of the mountain.  She stuck her hands inside the crack, one over the other and then her tiny toes.  In this way she managed to reach the tableland at the top.

Over the tableland she ran until she reached the Western point where at long last she reached a deep crevasse.  From the abyss she heard a sound. "Shoop, shoop, shoop, shoop, shoop!"  A cloud of dirt and shards of stone appeared above the top of the crack in rhythm with the sound and sprinkled her face and her hat with disembodied mountain.  "Shoop shoop shoop shoop shoop" from below.  "Tinkle, tinkle, tinkle, tinkle, poof" above.

Etwas dove over the rim of the fault in the top of the edge of the mountain.  On the way down the smooth sides of the stone met her back and she began to slide until finally, she reached the bottom.

"Did you bwing the wedge?" Eamon the Elf asked her, standing over his pick and shovel.

"Howdy, Eamon!  Of course I did."

"Sweahh," said Eamon.  Put it dayuh." and he pointed to a thin crack that spread in the bottom of his excavation.  Etwas fit the diamond into the center of the crack and pushed it as far as it would go.  Eamon swung his pick and hit the diamond true.  "Ping!" and then a deep rumbling noise emerged from the rock in the mountain.

"Whoa, boy!" Eamon cried.  "Bettah ho'd onto de wock!"  Both the Elves grabbed the side of the stone while the separation between the sides started to groan and grow.

"Push!" Etwas cried and the two tiny Elves braced their feet against the opposite sides and pushed with all of their might.  Finally, the entire western end of the mountain began to move and with a roar fell away from the rest.  The two Elves held tight to the falling scarp of stone and soon they were plummeting, attached to the great slate wall.  Down and down they fell until the wall exploded, shattered when it struck something hard and pointy with a loud "kaboom!"

When the dust finally settled and they could see, they discovered themselves in a mop of dirty, coarse and curly hair, just as they'd planned.  "Happy birthday, Stevie!" the two elves cried.

"Whoa!"  Said Stevie Elfsmoosher, the big, mean, ugly ogre.  "That's a lot of rock!"

"We gived you a stonehenge!" Eamon chirruped.

"Stone head," Etwas whispered to her tiny cousin.  "That's 'Stonehead.'"

And ever since then, elves always bring a thoughtful present to a birthday party.


  1. indeed they do :)

    and you meant to type " Howdy, eamon!" I am pretty sure :)
    Emma wishes her cousin Stevie an elfishly smooshed birthday!

  2. Tinkle, tinkle, tinkle, tinkle ... *POOF*
    (How much fun was that?)

  3. Yes, you are correct, Moni.

    Best fun you can have typing, Karen.